Its a secret... Don't tell anyone!!!

I can't believe it!!! Or is it beleive it??? I'm 25... And still, I keep secrets!!! Atleast most of them... Not mine... I guess I cannot keep too many of my issues secret from anybody...But you know, those other kinda secrets... that are not yours.... that include those that need not be secrets... But then, when they are not mine, should I just be the accomplice in crime, or just go with "You know what!!! This is a secret... Psst... Psst... Psst... But don't tell anyone" routine?? Bottom line - what is right when you are dealing with secrets?
Well, keeping secrets in a small group, as I found out is a pretty tricky thing. On one end, you have the source who fills you with the secret saying you are not supposed to say it to anybody else. And then, you feel good that you are the "privileged one", the one (or one of the two, or three... or the few) who just knows, while the rest of the world is seesawing between ignorance and guesswork. You play along with the game, putting up an innocent face, never raising a deliberate suspicion of your involvement. You stay loyal to your source.
And then on the other hand is your circle of friends, your clique, your group, the rest of yourself, that has almost shared everything with you. Everything that belonged to them, and sometimes things that didn't. Someones who trust you enough to believe that you are not fooling them. But if you are holding a secret that you don;t share, you are fooling them. And that my friend, is an insult. An alienation.
I keep wondering how I would feel if I knew that I was the last one in the world to know something. I keep wondering how I would feel if I would come to know that everybody had known it before I did. Worse still I keep wondering... (May be I'm in the Rabbit hole and not Alice) how I would feel if I knew my best friend would keep secrets from me.
I guess there is nothing absolutely right in this. Sometimes, its the news that matter. Sometimes, its the reporter. And some other times its the channel. Have I grown up enough to know what matters when? Nope. But till then, I just need to learn how to manage my secrets. and others secrets. Its not just about loyalty. Its also about being trustworthy.

Bommarillu - Love makes Life Beautiful

And so, we have another movie that takes a fairly confused guy, a fairly confused (and young) girl, exaggerates puppy love to the proportion of "I-know-she-is-the-one-for-eternity" love, sandwiches family, emotions, and another hapless "engaged" girl in the middle of the love story to dish out a rather clean, musical movie, that does manage to tickle your ribs once a while. But well, this movie is not just a love story. It starts out to deal with the issues of over-bearence, in the form of the protagonists' father and the concept of independence for the younger generation. We have all been through the stages where our clothes, our attires, our hairstyles, our groups in intermediate, our ambitions, our marriages and other innumerable intricacies have been designed by our fathers and mothers. Where would you draw the line and stamp your feet and say, "Its my life"!! Or should I ask, where should they draw the line and not cross it!
May be I'm not the right guy to be watching movies - these movies are not really made for me. I'm always looking out for flawed characters dish out perfect solutions to their moral and emotional dilemmas. I need to understand that we do not live in a perfect world. I love a world that is perfect, for I'm not. Kinda like Sidhu in the movie, who falls for a girl (at first sight) not for all that she is, but for all that he is not. Reminds me of a wonderful Zach Braff - Natalie Portman movie, the Garden State. In fact on some level, Bommarillu is an Indian Garden State. Sans the dysfunctional friends. But unlike Hindi movies of today that are direct shameless rip offs, I would like to beleive that Bommarillu was actually inspired by Garden State and Andhraised beautifully. Hell, I would even want to go so far as saying Bommarillu is a novel concept. That had great potential. Of becoming a wonderful telugu movie on the lines of Anukokunda Oka Roju. But somewhere, I have this sense that Bommarillu flatters to deceive, and falters to fall. And by the time the movie ends, the movie that could actually have been so relatable, and could have been so mature (atleast according to me), reduces itself to another albeit very well packaged, an almost-baked effort. But as I said, I am in love with the concept of a perfect world. And I am in illusion that movies are an abstraction of that perfect world.

So whats wrong with the movie??? A lotta my friends liked it, some didn't, and some people like me, hated it. The movie is a superhit, but my family didn't like it. But then, I didn't like the concept of Nuvve Kaavali (I haven't watched it!!!), Manasantha Nuvve (I watched it!!!), so you might find my taste in movies - distasteful at best. So if you like Bommarillu, you might just wanna read this to bash me up later. Or not wanna read it at all. You wanna quit, you are welcome. But if for any other reason, you wanna read this on - well , come along.

First of all, I am one of those guys who wants to beleive in Love... Everlasting Love... (Gosh, that does sound like Carrie in Sex and the City)... I want to beleive that I can fall in love with a person not by the way they look ( I never wanted to beleive in Love at First Sight, but it seems its true!!! and ... it exists:( ) I stare at beautiful strangers, I am smitten by the very pretty faces that life throws at you along the way, but they are not the ones I care about. And I wanted a movie that showed me what I wanted to beleive. Because thats how I beleive reality exists. And I want to beleive that only the mature guys (and gals) understand love. And that is where my problem is with the movie. I beleive the protaganists were totally immature. From the guy liking a girl (falling for her at the first sight), to loving her for all that she was and he was not, to lying to her father about her whereabouts, to abusing his and her father when drunk... all pretty immature stuff. The girl was childish, selfish, ignorant, didn't know what she wanted out of life, blah, blah, blah (you get the picture). But oh!! Wait a minute. Aren't we all so wretched, so flawed, so imperfect as these characters. May be, to varying extents. But raising those flaws to idealistic pinnacles is what angers my sense (aesthetic and common). How can a guy who couldn't respect his woman in his family treat her with respect throughout her life? How can a girl who could lie for a whim and a fantasy be expected to live a good life!! If anything was fools paradise then Bommarillu is. And I didn't get the message across that the movie intended. When should fathers leave themselves out of their children's lives? And to what extent should grown up kids let their parents lead their lives? Is it just a question of who you will marry? Or where you will be from 9-5 on weekdays? What are the limits on freedom and liberation?
I am pained because Bommarillu could have been great. Instead its just a very visually pleasing, run-of-the-mill story. Watch it if you beleive in love at first sight. Watch it if you like to get drunk and abuse your father. Watch it if you really like the idea of falling in love, getting married and... that love makes life beautiful.

The Lord of the Slams!!!

"One Roger to rule them all, One Roger to fight them, One Roger to bring them all and in the darkness of floodlights blind them".

I Hate Terrorists

I now hear and read and listen to another bombing - this time in Malegaon, Maharashtra. The confirmation so far is that 30 people have been killed and about 40 more people injured. This coming within two months of the serial bomb blasts in trains in Mumbai. What do these guys want? And what have innocent lives got to do with it?
Anyways, who am I asking these questions!!! If you are not a terrorist, you would be asking the same questions, looking for an answer. If you are not a terrorist, you would reason that mass killing and violence of innocent civilians is no way to get yourself heard, and legitamise your demands. If you are not a terrorist, you would ask yourself why does this happen all over the world, for different excuses- some call it Fanaticism, some Extremism, some Jihad, some Political violence, and some, simply Oil.
But what answer will you give me if you are a Terrorist, a Fanatic, a Jihadi, or a President. What excuse of freedom or oppression will you give me to murder people, most of whose farthest concern is what to name their newest born child, or which direction their dinner is going to come from. Not that I am advocating you to murder people with farther concerns than these, but whats the point!!! Your point is not going to come across. Of course people will take notice, and may be you will pat your back for crippling some governmental machinery. You say you are fighting for your people, but dont you see you are killing them!!!
And then, as a terrorist, you are going to tell me that every war has its casualities, and that you are not fighting an army, but the system. The faceless system of oppression. Of interference. Cliches. Words that have lost their meaning, in their repeated usage in your hatred. In your obsession for bloodshed. And you are ready to give your life for this. May be you are not. Because all that you want to, is to take another's life, who doesn't have the slightest hint of who you are, who doesn't have any choice of fighting you. If you dare, fight like a human being. Be a face saving hero. Not a farcical faceless coward.
It might be that I'm just putting out these thoughts right out of emotion. May be there is not Al-Queada type of group involved (though the modus oparandi of two blasts in succession seems disturbingly familiar). May be its one of the politically motivated blasts with some dirty nasty screwed up bastard politicians involved. But who ever it was that was involved, is a terrorist. And who ever you are, I hate you.

Nadal loses QuarterFinals in US Open

Nooooooooooooo..... I was not prepared for this! This was not how I wanted it to End!!! Endearing "Raffa" is ousted from the US Open. And I don't have the same interest in the Grand Slam anymore. Nadal lost to a relatively unknown, yet extremely talented player, Mikhail Youzhny, who strongly fore and back handed Nadal, a shock defeat. And after his racquet cap salute, Mikhail Youzhny thanked all the fans for supporting him, in fact, turning around their opinion through the match and rallying behind him. And thats the point that struck me - What is the nature of support? And Hero Worship? And what kind of support does the underdog garner ?First of all, I'm an underdog fan. One that is expected to lose a contest. There is all this talk of talent and skill, but I hate it when a contest doesn't become a contest at all. With all due respect, Roger Federer in Tennis and Australia in Cricket have made contests a mundane monotonous affairs, that the sports started to lose out due to their utter ruthlessness and killing professionalism. Federer had made winning matches with three sets his habit - you can get into record books for just getting to a tie-breaker with him. And his real threat was Raffael Nadal - may be not as much a threat as a pause in Roger's breath, especially on the fast hard courts. But you know, that would have been a contest. And well, I would then have cheered for Raffa. And I would have known that my cheers wouldn't be empty wishes, but genuine hopes of an underdog win. But now, thanks to the Russian, my cheers will have some restructuring to do.But then, all said and done, you know as well as I do that Nadal didn't play that way I wanted him to. Well, thats a silly thing to say, cos Nadal plays the way he does. And Youzhny did play well, but I just felt that you are as good a player as your opponent lets you be. And for a day today, Nadal let Youzhny get better of him.Yeah it does happen to Federer once in a blue-sun (rarer than a blue moon) when you would be lucky enough to witness him losing to an Andy Murray. But will I see it happen at this US-open and put a stop to this Rogernaut!!! Youzhny did it once, winning as an underdog. May be he will do it again. And AGAIN. May be my cheers will have some substance when I watch the final. Because for all you know, Federer is closing fast on the French Open (look at his progression at the French to know what I mean). And I will always dream of a underdog, who will havea solid chance to defeat the favorite. I just wish Youzhny or Roddick is my man this US Open.

Vande mataram

Translation of Vande Mataram
Mother, I bow to thee!
Rich with thy hurrying streams, bright with orchard gleams, Cool with thy winds of delight, Green fields waving Mother of might, Mother free.
Glory of moonlight dreams, Over thy branches and lordly streams, Clad in thy blossoming trees, Mother, giver of easeLaughing low and sweet!Mother I kiss thy feet,Speaker sweet and low!Mother, to thee I bow.
Who hath said thou art weak in thy lands!!
When the sword flesh out in the seventy million hands,
And seventy million voices roar
Thy dreadful name from shore to shore?
With many strengths who art mighty and stored,
To thee I call Mother and Lord!
Though who savest, arise and save!
To her I cry who ever her foeman drove back from plain and sea
And shook herself free.
Thou art wisdom, thou art law,Thou art heart, our soul, our breath
Though art love divine, the awe in our hearts that conquers death.
Thine the strength that nervs the arm, Thine the beauty, thine the charm.
Every image made divine in our temples is but thine.
Thou art Durga, Lady and Queen,
With her hands that strike and herswords of sheen,
Thou art Lakshmi lotus-throned,
And the Muse a hundred-toned,Pure and perfect without peer,Mother lend thine ear,
Rich with thy hurrying streams,Bright with thy orchard gleems,Dark of hue O candid-fair
In thy soul, with jewelled hairAnd thy glorious smile divine,Loveliest of all earthly lands,Showering wealth from well-stored hands!Mother, mother mine!Mother sweet, I bow to thee,Mother great and free!
(from Wikipedia)